“I DO” – PART 2
I am in it (marriage) I don’t like it, so what should I do to improve it so that both of us are happy?
First we must understand that all marriages require hard work, love, and patience. Next we have to commit and allow God to work with us and reveal things we do not know that may be affecting our relationship. The Bible says in 1 Corinthians 2:9-10 “But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him. But God hath revealed them unto us by his Spirit: for the Spirit searcheth all things, yea, the deep things of God”. We must admit; God knows more than we do and He is willing to help us.
We shall be looking at eight Biblical Kingdom principals in regard to marriage relationships. These principals will help restore and maintain any relationship and bring back happiness if one adheres to them and is willing to change. Remember, there is a man-ward side and a God-ward side. When you do your part God will do His part.
1) Commitment
Many counselors say that communication is one of the keys required for any relationship to work but I place commitment as the number one. Why? Truthfully, unless you commit to something, you will have no interest in communicating or talking further about it. Do you really want your marriage to work? Commitment to the relationship is the first step to restoration and all parties in the relationship must be committed to it. There is hope to any couple willing to put in extra effort to save a deteriorating relationship. In Matthew 19:26 26 Jesus looked at them and said, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.”
God is the strongest and most magnificent source of relationship help, yet many don’t utilize His guidance. Instead, people want to resolve issues by their own ability. The Bible is full of relationship advice and if you listen for God’s voice in your heart, He will tell you what to do. By bringing Him into your relationship, you are more likely to have your relationship restored. God works in mysterious and majestic ways that will help your relationship grow again. Open your heart to the Lord again in this area and learn the amazing ways that He can help you restore your relationship.
2) Communication
Occasionally, during the duration of a relationship, communication barriers occur. It could be as easy as misunderstanding each other. Communicating kindly during such moments especially when a problem arises will help keep lines of communication open. In Proverbs 18:13-19 we are reminded to respond to our partner in a Godly way, regardless of their actions. In Proverbs 18:21 “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits”. If you argue all the time even over little things like coffee or tea, you will allow the enemy (devil) who already hates you to twist your words and make them say what you did not mean at all. The Bible says in Proverbs 15:1 “A gentle response turns away anger, but a harsh word stirs up wrath”. Proverbs 15:5 “Speech that heals is like a life-giving tree, but a perverse tongue breaks the spirit”.
In Ephesians 4:15, God reminds us to be honest with each other and speak with love in your heart. In Ephesians 4:26-27, we are told to attack the problem, and not the person. Take time with your spouse and look up passages in the Bible dedicated to relationships. Share a devotional with each other on daily basis and then allow Holy Spirit to bring healing in your relationship.
3) Practice Forgiveness
Ask for forgiveness and also be quick to grant forgiveness. You may ask God for forgiveness of your sins daily, but are you granting forgiveness to others? If you are not forgiving your brothers and sisters for their shortcomings or goes around holding grudges against them, then you are not putting in a real effort in your relationship. When you speak to God, ask for help in forgiving your partner or friend for things they may have done in the past or things they continue to do. It’s also important to ask for forgiveness that you did not strive to forgive the partner sooner. We can choose to remember the transgressions no more, just as the Lord does. The same holds true when you grant forgiveness to another, put it behind you and don’t bring it up again. Forgiveness is a key component to restoration of a relationship.
4) Cultivate your relationship individually with the Lord
We need to take time to cultivate our relationship with God personally. When our relationship with the Lord is right all other relationships on earth fall into place. As you take time daily in His Word, your relationship with the Him will develop and you will be able to communicate, freely with Him. Ask God for his guidance with restoration. Then when He gives an answer trust Him to make it happen! It might take time for His answer to come, but it’s worth the wait. The Bible says in Hebrews 4:12 “-that ye be not slothful, but followers of those who through faith and patience inherit the promises”. If you truly love the relationship you are in you will be able to patiently wait for God’s hand.
5) Humble Yourself
1 Peter 5:6-7 “Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time He may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on Him, because He cares for you.”
One of the greatest things you can do to restore a broken relationship is to humble yourself and admit where you were wrong. God loves a humble heart! He will be glorified when you take the brave step forward and admit how your actions are contributing to the deterioration of the relationship. Having a humble attitude about the situation will show the love of Christ. This love will help inspire your partner to do the same. If you struggle with admitting your faults, ask for God’s help. Remember He walks with you and He will be by your side to help you with wisdom, as you need it to work with your partner. Humility before God is not complete unless there is also humility before man. A true test of our willingness to humble ourselves is willingness to share with others the weaknesses we confess to God. Wisdom, however, dictates that we do so with others that we trust.
6) Reflect on Your Relationship
God has already committed in His Word never to leave you or forsake you. He say in Hebrews 13:5 this way, “I will never leave you nor forsake you.”
God must remain the most important friend in your relationship. Your friend or spouse can abandon you occasionally but your Heavenly Father will never.
One of the best things one needs to do especially when a relationship is not where it’s supposed to be is to have a conversation with God and reflect on your commitment to Him. He is the only one who can save your relationship.
If you need helping restoration of your relationship, it is wise to start by asking yourself some questions such as (1) If God is my only solution, will I admit that I can’t solve these marriage problems by myself? (2) Am I willing to trust Him to put my relationship right again? (3) When the enemy attacks our relationship, what do I need to do? (4) Am I willing to persevere even if my partner doesn’t respond? (5) What are the issues in the relationship that I want to bring to God? After you have asked yourself these questions, take the adequate time you need to reflect on your answers.
7) Pray Together
Every one of God’s followers should take time out of their day to go into a quiet, isolated area where they can speak to God. By praying to Him, you can ask for strength, inspiration, and guidance. Take this a step further and pray with your relationship partner. How much better would your relationship be if you took the time to pray to God with each other every day? It is like a free marriage counselor. You can each talk about the faults of the relationship, improvements you have made, ask for forgiveness, and say what you are thankful for in the other person. Be humble in your prayer time and it will strengthen lines of communication.
8. Leave it in God’s Hands
1 Peter 5:7 (KJV) “Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you”. One of the major and common problems with many believers in Christ is that they do not know how to let go of issues. In other words they don’t know how to cast theirs worries and cares unto the Lord. They worry about their issues 24/7. This attitude hinders healing of a relationship. Once you have prayed about it, then Let God handle it for you. He is well able.
Without Him, it is impossible for many couples to stay together. But with Him, no matter how terrible the relationship, even what may seem to be unsalvageable becomes possible. There are thousands of couples that share their testimony of how God saved their relationship. Let Him in to solve yours. Learn more from our blog page online here … Blessings!
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